,db, ,. .,1 ,. .,,.
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Tb, jLb, j j! !L l:
Tb, j!P j! m@SL lb:l
T! !bjT8@mm@Tb
,d!@@S jPTj! Tl:
,d8 jP, T! ,. l: :l
8P ,Gb,.,y@ ,8Ss *.,yjL :l
,G8l b,8, L
,G8 m b,d!.,y!L,..
b, lT S!!
b,:l .,j !
m 88 !L
,d88 yyyyyTL
TP
Hi. My name is sargon, and this is my story.
It was a cold winter day, and being a homeless black man, I needed shelter. So,
naturally, I strolled into a supermarket.
Thats where it got weird. As I strolled down the aisle, I saw something
strange. There were about 1,000 little figures, dancing around a fire..
Once I finally made them out.. I saw some things, so horrible.. so evil..
so maniacal..
,b, ,d,
jSlP,db,TlSL /
TjSy**yLT DIE WARPUS. DIE.
jlS8L ,. AHAHAAAHAAA HA HA HA
,gG, S@y8 P,Gg, /
b, ,db, .db, ,d,,
4S@@SP d,
SSSSSSS 4, - evil elf-pig-teddy bear!
!SLLLLLLLSS! 4,
4SSSSSSSP
I knew I had to get away, so I ran out of the supermarket, in to the cold. I
ran around the city for a while, and eventually ended up in a large warehouse.
The minute I looked in, i saw the room divided in two sections. In the left
section, there were a few thousand mexican women, manufacturing cocaine. On
the right side, were a few hundred little boys, assembling stereos.
y@SSSSSlllii,
y .L.!SSSSSSLLLLLllli
!L !SSSSSSSLLli
!L .SySSLli
!L .S88SSLl
!L .SP,: 4SSL
!L.S! ji,gg, !SSL
,!L! ii jSL
j8!L!L!b, dSL
:y88L!L!S@@S
!P . 4L!8 !8
!! :i,ee, !8 .: !8
!L ii, jL . !8
stereo - !b,**,dL : .S
!S@@SMMML.S
!MMMM8
!MMMMM8
!MM8
I looked at a few of them, and suddenly realized they were all branded. The
brand looked like this:
y,.
.,y :l .,
l: ., l: ,gG
:L ,P ,y@S
:l j! :
lb, l: !L jl
:l4bS@yb,..,d
4*8!88
l 4P
T
I sat there.. pondering.. KLG.. hmm.. KLG. What could that be?
Killer Lesbian Goats?
Kikes Love Goulash?
Killing Lamers Gleefully?
Then.. as if to answer the question for me... guess who showed up.. none other
than.. KATHY LEE GIFFORD! She was weilding a whip. No wonder the little boys
were able to stay on task.
I ran out of the warehouse, and went in to a computer shop. There was
Emmanuel Goldstein, editor of 2600 magazine.
Hi.. Im Emmanuel Goldstein, the worlds coolest hacker..
He was about 5 foot 4, 390 pounds. I figured a plan. I ran behind him, and
waited. Still trailing me, the goblins pounced towards me. AHA! I was using
Goldstein as a human shield. Not even thousands of hungry teddy bears could
completely consume that hunk of flesh and flab. As they were busy devouring
Emmanuel, I ran to the back of the room.
I heard somebody enter.. it was some sort of Arnold Schwartzenneger looking
FREAK! He quickly smashed each and every one of the bears, and walked out
of the room.
.,SL
.GL
.GL
.G88SL
jMb. .G888SSLl
jMMb. .G888SSSLLli
jMMb. .GSSSSSSS88SSSLLLllii
jMMb. .GSS88SSLLLllliiii
jMMb. .GSllSSS8SSLLliiiiiillll
***888b. .GSSliilSSSSS8SSLLliiiiiilLS8
jMM@ydb. ,dSSli::illSS8SSLLliiiiiilLS8
jMMMMl. ,dSSli:,:ilSS8SSLLliiiiiilLll
jMMSSlj. ,dSSSli:,:ilSS8SSLLliiiiiiilllL
jMMMSSl,lSb.jSlSli:::ilSS88SSSLLliiiiiiillL
jMMMSSl llSSlilSi 8SLlliiliill
ilSSS8SlilSSli. ,y ,. y :::iii
@L ., , :ilSSSlilSSSSlll, 8yyjP .,:::iiiiil
8yy8 iillSSSlSSSLSSSiiS@y,,. ,yiiiiiillllllS
lb. :ilSSSSSllSSSLlSSlllllllllllllis,sSiiiiilllllLLLSSSSS
jSli:, iillSSSSSSSSLlSSSSSSSSSLLLLLliiiiiiilllLLLLLSSS8888
jSlli:: .:illSSSiillSSSLlS88SSLLLLLlllllliiiiLLLSSS888
jSSli .::iilSSll::ilSSlS8SSLLLLLlliiilllLLLSSS888
jSli:::.:::iilllllli,ilSS,SS8lS8SLLLLLllilllLLLSSS
4Sli::::iillSSS, ,dllLLSSS,P,G:illliilS8SLLLLLlliillLLLL
4SliiiillLli,dillLLSS::ilSSSSSLLLllLSS8SLLLLLlliiiLLl
4SSSSSiiliiii.ilLSS88::iilSSSLLLlllLSS8SSLLLLLllllLL
!SSSliilLLb, ,diillSSSSSSLLLSS8SLLLLlllli
!SSlliiilSSSS@yyy@SSSSSSSSS8SLLLLiii
SSlSSSlSlS8SLLLl
SSSSSlSS8SLL
j*SSS8S
j 888
j,yyy@@@@@ggggggyygg@@@@@@@@@@@@yy,.8
bySSLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS88SSLLLllliiiiiillLLSSSSSSS@y
88888SSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSS88888SSSLLLLlllllllSSSS888
888888SSSSSLLLLLLlllllllLLSSS88SSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSS88
88SSSSSSSLLLLLLlllliiiiiiiiiiiiillllLLLLLLLLLLSLSSSSS888!
8888SSSSSLLLlllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllLLLLLLSSSSSS8888
88SSSLLLLLLLlllllllllllilllllllLLLLLSSSSS8888888
jMMM888888SSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSS88888888
MMMMMM8888888888888888888888SSSSSSSS8SSSSS88888888
!MMMM88888888SSSSSSSSSSSS
4888888SSSSSSLLLLLS*
8888888888888SSSSLLL
Unfortunately, Emmanuel Goldstein was dead.
PS.. Id like to make a personal apology to all readers of 2600, for having
your leader killed.. :
,dP jL b, j! ,d88b, .,y
Tb, jLb, j j! !L l:
Tb, j!P j! m@SL lb:l
T! !bjT8@mm@Tb
,d!@@S jPTj! Tl:
,d8 jP, T! ,. l: :l
8P ,Gb,.,y@ ,8Ss *.,yjL :l
,G8l b,8, L
,G8 m b,d!.,y!L,..
b, lT S!!
b,:l .,j !
m 88 !L
,d88 yyyyyTL
TP
Hi. My name is sargon, and this is my story.
It was a cold winter day, and being a homeless black man, I needed shelter. So,
naturally, I strolled into a supermarket.
Thats where it got weird. As I strolled down the aisle, I saw something
strange. There were about 1,000 little figures, dancing around a fire..
Once I finally made them out.. I saw some things, so horrible.. so evil..
so maniacal..
,b, ,d,
jSlP,db,TlSL /
TjSy**yLT DIE WARPUS. DIE.
jlS8L ,. AHAHAAAHAAA HA HA HA
,gG, S@y8 P,Gg, /
b, ,db, .db, ,d,,
4S@@SP d,
SSSSSSS 4, - evil elf-pig-teddy bear!
!SLLLLLLLSS! 4,
4SSSSSSSP
I knew I had to get away, so I ran out of the supermarket, in to the cold. I
ran around the city for a while, and eventually ended up in a large warehouse.
The minute I looked in, i saw the room divided in two sections. In the left
section, there were a few thousand mexican women, manufacturing cocaine. On
the right side, were a few hundred little boys, assembling stereos.
y@SSSSSlllii,
y .L.!SSSSSSLLLLLllli
!L !SSSSSSSLLli
!L .SySSLli
!L .S88SSLl
!L .SP,: 4SSL
!L.S! ji,gg, !SSL
,!L! ii jSL
j8!L!L!b, dSL
:y88L!L!S@@S
!P . 4L!8 !8
!! :i,ee, !8 .: !8
!L ii, jL . !8
stereo - !b,**,dL : .S
!S@@SMMML.S
!MMMM8
!MMMMM8
!MM8
I looked at a few of them, and suddenly realized they were all branded. The
brand looked like this:
y,.
.,y :l .,
l: ., l: ,gG
:L ,P ,y@S
:l j! :
lb, l: !L jl
:l4bS@yb,..,d
4*8!88
l 4P
T
I sat there.. pondering.. KLG.. hmm.. KLG. What could that be?
Killer Lesbian Goats?
Kikes Love Goulash?
Killing Lamers Gleefully?
Then.. as if to answer the question for me... guess who showed up.. none other
than.. KATHY LEE GIFFORD! She was weilding a whip. No wonder the little boys
were able to stay on task.
I ran out of the warehouse, and went in to a computer shop. There was
Emmanuel Goldstein, editor of 2600 magazine.
Hi.. Im Emmanuel Goldstein, the worlds coolest hacker..
He was about 5 foot 4, 390 pounds. I figured a plan. I ran behind him, and
waited. Still trailing me, the goblins pounced towards me. AHA! I was using
Goldstein as a human shield. Not even thousands of hungry teddy bears could
completely consume that hunk of flesh and flab. As they were busy devouring
Emmanuel, I ran to the back of the room.
I heard somebody enter.. it was some sort of Arnold Schwartzenneger looking
FREAK! He quickly smashed each and every one of the bears, and walked out
of the room.
.,SL
.GL
.GL
.G88SL
jMb. .G888SSLl
jMMb. .G888SSSLLli
jMMb. .GSSSSSSS88SSSLLLllii
jMMb. .GSS88SSLLLllliiii
jMMb. .GSllSSS8SSLLliiiiiillll
***888b. .GSSliilSSSSS8SSLLliiiiiilLS8
jMM@ydb. ,dSSli::illSS8SSLLliiiiiilLS8
jMMMMl. ,dSSli:,:ilSS8SSLLliiiiiilLll
jMMSSlj. ,dSSSli:,:ilSS8SSLLliiiiiiilllL
jMMMSSl,lSb.jSlSli:::ilSS88SSSLLliiiiiiillL
jMMMSSl llSSlilSi 8SLlliiliill
ilSSS8SlilSSli. ,y ,. y :::iii
@L ., , :ilSSSlilSSSSlll, 8yyjP .,:::iiiiil
8yy8 iillSSSlSSSLSSSiiS@y,,. ,yiiiiiillllllS
lb. :ilSSSSSllSSSLlSSlllllllllllllis,sSiiiiilllllLLLSSSSS
jSli:, iillSSSSSSSSLlSSSSSSSSSLLLLLliiiiiiilllLLLLLSSS8888
jSlli:: .:illSSSiillSSSLlS88SSLLLLLlllllliiiiLLLSSS888
jSSli .::iilSSll::ilSSlS8SSLLLLLlliiilllLLLSSS888
jSli:::.:::iilllllli,ilSS,SS8lS8SLLLLLllilllLLLSSS
4Sli::::iillSSS, ,dllLLSSS,P,G:illliilS8SLLLLLlliillLLLL
4SliiiillLli,dillLLSS::ilSSSSSLLLllLSS8SLLLLLlliiiLLl
4SSSSSiiliiii.ilLSS88::iilSSSLLLlllLSS8SSLLLLLllllLL
!SSSliilLLb, ,diillSSSSSSLLLSS8SLLLLlllli
!SSlliiilSSSS@yyy@SSSSSSSSS8SLLLLiii
SSlSSSlSlS8SLLLl
SSSSSlSS8SLL
j*SSS8S
j 888
j,yyy@@@@@ggggggyygg@@@@@@@@@@@@yy,.8
bySSLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS88SSLLLllliiiiiillLLSSSSSSS@y
88888SSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSS88888SSSLLLLlllllllSSSS888
888888SSSSSLLLLLLlllllllLLSSS88SSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSS88
88SSSSSSSLLLLLLlllliiiiiiiiiiiiillllLLLLLLLLLLSLSSSSS888!
8888SSSSSLLLlllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllLLLLLLSSSSSS8888
88SSSLLLLLLLlllllllllllilllllllLLLLLSSSSS8888888
jMMM888888SSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSS88888888
MMMMMM8888888888888888888888SSSSSSSS8SSSSS88888888
!MMMM88888888SSSSSSSSSSSS
4888888SSSSSSLLLLLS*
8888888888888SSSSLLL
Unfortunately, Emmanuel Goldstein was dead.
PS.. Id like to make a personal apology to all readers of 2600, for having
your leader killed.. :
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