Message to : All
From : Akasha
Subject : The Meet. Part I.
Date/Time : Tue 02 Jul 1996 11:27a
this is the beginning of the 24-hour meet that began at the gastown theatre at
4 pm.
4 pm. myself, agnostic, and candide sit around waiting for the telepoetics
people to get their act together and start everything going.
4:45 or so. merlyn, cthulu, and the laughing fool show up, and there is some
collective amusement until the show begins.
5 pm. there is some poetry reading and some poetry listening between
ourselves and the hardened inner-city youth of chicago.
6:30 ?. hookup with L.A. some disturbed psychotic-sexual poetry on my part
is read and some sun-baked i'm happy poetry on their part is read. tlf
manages to offend a great many scientologists in their audience. i have to
stand on a chair to be able to read a collaborative poem with cthulu. none of
them seem to understand anything we're talking about, but we understand what
they're talking about all too easily. oh well. they were trying, at least.
somewhere in the midst of poetry reading, james joyce shows up, and i have no
knowledge of his actual identity, beyond man-with-bone-in-nose.
8 pm. milling about in search of dinner or something else. arguments about
greek food, cauliflower and crackers, and finally we trek off in search of
falafels at a moroccan cafe. we squeeze around a table at the aforementioned
cafe and settle down to some food. the number at this point consists of
myself, james joyce, merlyn, tlf, cthulu, candide, candide's brother, and
candide's sister-in-law. after dinner, we leave in search of merlyn's car.
8:45 ?. find merlyn's car and debate the possibilities of fitting all six of
us inside. the arrangement consists of merlyn driving, cthulu riding shotgun,
and me lying across the laps of james joyce, tlf, and candide. tabnet orgy??
a lot of driving around ensues where i get thrown about rather disturbingly.
we end up near tower beach, on ubc grounds. in the name of art, we move an
unattached lamp-post to what seems to be an aesthetically better location.
the ubc campus security shows up. we run. whoops.
9:30 ?. security catches up with us, demanding to know what we were doing.
when we all assemble again, we realise that tlf is in fact missing. in a
moment of melodrama, he emerges from the bushes on the other side of a fence,
bleeding from his hand and demanding help. an ambulance is called, and the
rest of us mill ineffectually. tlf is extracted, and taken away in an
ambulance. we return to cthulu's house.
10:45. cheese, crackers, peas, cauliflower. lying on cthulu's floor,
anticipating parental return.
12:30. word comes that we do not have to wait for tlf, and we go for a lot of
walks. walk to playground, along trails, european handball with a hackysack
in a basketball court, cartwheels, swings, forming of five-pointed stars, and
some vague sleepy protestations.
1:30. dine on blue (sugar, sand, colouring) and slurpees and wander back to
cthulu's.
2 am. settle in cthulu's basement. some sleep. some harmonious and unique
snoring on everyone's part (save candide). some shifting of positions.
7:30. people rise unwillingly. candide, myself, james joyce, and meryln head
to bennys and eat bagels for breakfast. the world is conspiring to be
altogether too cheery.
8 am. the four of us head to spanish banks to wade on sand bars, bury our
feet in the sand, and have some mud fights. much splashing ensues. we dry
off in the sun.
9:30. james joyce is dropped off, leaving me in possession of a shirt lent
the previous night due to my lack of sleeves. he denys that he wants it
back.
10 am. the three remaining return to my house all the way in north van, to
shower, and be mildly rested.
11 am. we leave in search of breakfast, ending up at the white spot on
georgia. candide and i are dropped off at waterfront to meet the masking
tapers on the other side of the seabus route.
thus ends part one.
part two to follow when i'm more conscious.
-!- DoDEL
! Origin: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! (31:3373/7)
Message to : All
From : Zinnia Anonymous
Subject : I hate lonsdale quay
Date/Time : Tue 02 Jul 1996 8:55p
me getteth on ye bus at 9:55
me arriveth at waterfront at 10:15
me rideth ye seabus
me arriveth at lonsdale quaye at 10:45
me sitteth
me walketh
me buyeth fig. me ne'er hath etten fig; fig wast not good. yuck. me spitteth
out ye fig.
me glareth at canada day festivities.
me readeth Xtra West personal ads ("I want a woman who packs").
me sitteth againe.
me se‰th ye Fool; me ne sayeth nor speaketh; me hath a mighty fear of ye Fool.
me looketh up; behold, ye gods! tis agnostic, smiling broadly.
empowered by ye presence of agnostic, me seeketh out ye Fool.
we visiteth ye canada day festivities in all hir pornographic (mcdonalds'
flags) glories. we recieveth free tree planting kits.
candide and akasha arriveth, red-eyed and sorely fatigued.
small child approacheth; tis sirrah flibbles.
gentleman whose handle goes yet unknown to me (kevin?) arrives.
we waiteth; we writeth notes for cthulu and merlyn "you have two hours to
complete this examination". we searcheth quay. we seeth rats. we screameth:
"rats!" we waiteth anon.
after many hours, we leaveth quay.
on bus, we speaketh in loud voices of much apocrypha and miscellanie,
enteraining other travellers.
in lynn canyon, we dicketh around for a long time. agnostic fisheth for fish
in ice-cold waters of lynn creek, jeans rolled up to his knees. josh
describeth him: "you look like a bear fishing!" agnostic is mightily
displeased. we throweth rocks. ye menfolk throweth bigger and bigger rocks
until rocks can be thrown no more.
we sitteth on rocks. agnostic begins taping scenery down; I begin balancing
rocks. candide discovers his primal instincts and bangs rocks together to
make little rocks smaller. candide crowned smith of tribe.
eventually, myself, flibbles, fool, akasha, and agnostic are taped together.
we form a radially symmetrical entity with ten legs and five arms and five
heads. new entity taunted by candide and other fellow.
learning the tricks of our new legs and arms, we somehow manage to leave
canyon. all the while, we protesteth our superiority unto two "monolithic
obsolete lifeforms".
entity disbanded. bus taken. flibbles disappears.
we taketh the seabus yet againe back to downtown for the sole purpose of
buying falafel. falafel is bought. candide and fool disappear.
akasha, agnostic, and I return to the seabus and find ourselves once again in
lynn valley.
-!- FuzzMail v4.444
! Origin: fuzz: midgetfest '96, watch out baby! (31:3373/8)
From : Akasha
Subject : The Meet, Part II.
Date/Time : Tue 02 Jul 1996 9:33p
and now the conclusion of the 24-hour meet.
1 pm. candide and i return to lonsdale quay to find tlf, agnostic, and zinnia
waiting for us. a few seconds after our arrival, mr. flibbles manages to
locate us all.
2 pm. as we await cthulu and merlyn's promised arrival, we encounter a
virtual delusions caller (maurader, raider x) who seems to decide to come
with us on our trek.
2:30. give up on cthulu and merlyn, and head out to lynn canyon for fun with
adhesives, etc. find our way to the bottom of the canyon and begin tossing
rocks into a pool of water with much splashing. tape candide and mr. flibbles
together, much to the dismay of the hair on candide's arms. agnostic proceeds
to tape various portions of nature together, including my arm, a shoe, several
trees, rocks, and mr. flibbles. more roaming. the formation of a
five-portioned entity, consisting of agnostic, zinnia, myself, tlf, and
flibbles. argue with the obsolete singular creature known as candide about
the merits of being a multi-partitioned being. we make it all the way to the
bus stop without too much damage (save the sacrificial separation of mr.
flibbles). kevin decides that he's had enough of tabbers and goes home.
5:45. mr flibbles splits off, and the five remaining hop on the seabus to
seek out falafels downtown. candide and i hallucinate. falafels are found at
the moroccan cafe place. tlf insists that candide and i return home to avoid
subsequent injury.
6:45. the meet is officially deemed to be over, as candide takes the
skytrain, and agnostic, zinnia, and i take the seabus, splitting up.
7:20. i make it home and proceed to collapse.
-!- DoDEL
! Origin: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! (31:3373/7)